A Beginner’s Guide To Anal Sex

Butt Sex Gets a Bum Rap

We live in a very butt phobic culture. Look at our language: rude, inconsiderate people are "assholes" and uptight stress cases are "tight asses." While it's true that we carry a phenomenal amount of our stress in our assholes, there's tremendous pleasure to be experienced from the concentration of nerve endings clustered in and around the anus.

So why are back door pleasures so taboo? Many people have a mordant fear of coming into contact with bits of fecal matter, and homophobic attitudes about anal sex create the fallacious notion that only “only gay men do that.” Poor butts, so many nerve endings just aching to be stimulated, and so much stigma to overcome!

Why Try Anal Sex?

Although it can be fun to play with taboos, the truth is all kinds of people from all different sexual backgrounds get into the joys of butt love. And for good reason: it feels good. The anus and the rectum are sensitive areas. There are a wealth of muscles and nerve endings around the anus and the right kind of touch can feel fantastic. All men have prostate glands that can be reached through the rectum. Many men have orgasms just from pressure on the prostate. Women's G-spots are easily stimulated indirectly through anal play as well.

This how-to deals primarily with anal masturbation. It’s nice to experiment alone first so you can control the pace of your explorations. However, you are most welcome to try this with a partner as well, just go slowly and communicate your desires and reactions to your partner. Anal play should not hurt. If it hurts, that's your body telling you to back off. Remember this butt mantra: "relaxation, lubrication, communication" and you should be happily enjoying butt sex in no time.

Get Going!

1. Clean up. If you’re worried about coming into contact with feces, go to the bathroom to clear out your bowels. You can also shower first, or do your experimenting in the shower, or wear a latex glove with lube on it during anal play.
2. Exercise. Try some anally focused exercises, clenching and unclenching your sphincter muscles. Anal kegels can be done in sets of 12; try doing a fast set and a slow set. During the slow set, exhale on the relaxation portion of the exercise.
3. Add lube to your finger and your anus. The tissue of the rectum is sensitive, it doesn't self-lubricate as does the vagina, and it can suffer little micro tears and abrasions quite easily. So be gentle when you explore, and use lots and lots of lubricant—try Slippery Stuff or Maximus. These thicker lubes are great for anal play because the don’t evaporate as quickly.
4. Get to know your butt. Start by feeling around the outside of the hole. There are two sphincters of the anus, the outer one, which creates the pucker that you can see, and the inner sphincter that you can feel a short ways up if you insert your finger in your anus.
5. Go inside. If you’re playing in the shower, ease a  fingertip just inside your ass. If you’re lying on your back or side, insert a well-lubed finger. If you meet resistance, push out as if you had to go to the bathroom and push your finger in at the same time.
6. Experiment. Do some clenches and releases while touching yourself so that you can feel the changes in yoru asshole. Try rubbing in tiny, concentric, circles around the rim of your asshole. Notice whether there are any particularly sensitive spots. Don’t feel you have to go very far inside. Just explore and enjoy yourself.

Add Toys

Sex toys can be a great way to learn how to have anal sex, either through anal masturbation or anal intercourse with a partner. These products can help you get started:

• Butt plugs. Butt plugs (also called anal plugs) are typically diamond-shaped with a thin neck and a flared base, which prevents them from slipping into the rectum. The bulge in the middle helps the plug stay in place, and for male bodied people it will stimulate the prostate. Check out the Ryder or the Little Flirts for two of our most popular butt plugs.
• Anal beads. Anal beads cause the sphincter muscles to contract, which can send many people into orgasm. Beads come in all sizes and materials, and are a series of beads knotted into place along a string with a ring on the end. Check out our popular anal beads.
• Anal dildos. A thin dildo is good to start with, but you can use a dildo of any size (with our without a harness)for anal sex (anal intercourse) with a partner, or for masturbation. The small Silk is a nice beginner’s size, while the Buzz 1 is great if you want to combine vibrations with penetration.